you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i think i just lost a toe
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