she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
