About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
