What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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