If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
