i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
