if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
