..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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