he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
