He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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