Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
