I'm going to rape someone's good day.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
