Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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