hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
