We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
