just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I did not marry a roomba.
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