idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
