Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
