You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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