At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
