do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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