Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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