I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
