she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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