I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
