Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
