"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
