Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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