have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
