Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I wear drunk well.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
