Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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