i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
