She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she told me i tasted like america
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
