Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
