So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize