I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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