New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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