wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
