Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
