Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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