is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
