And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize