He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize