my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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