what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
