walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
