Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
its liver damage thursday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
