mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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