oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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