Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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