he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
