I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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