OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
