I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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