I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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