I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
