i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
