dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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