Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
