your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
