Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
