I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
