I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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