There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
